The Girl He Used to Know Book Review

I just got another book from She Speaks. This time it was an advance readers' edition of "The Girl He Used To Know" by Tracy Garvis Graves. This was an amazing opportunity to expand my reading horizon and explore an author I had not considered or even heard of before this time. As a part of the She Speaks community, I am able to participate in the online book club. I continue to love the advance readers review opportunities and will hopefully 🤞 get to continue taking part for years to come.

Technical Facts

"The Girl He Used To Know" will be published April 2019 by St. Martin's Press and has 291 pages plus the acknowledgments.

ISBN Paper Copy: 978-250-221121-7
ISBN e-Book: 1409183688

Genre: Fiction

Where to Buy:
Amazon
Barnes&Noble
Audible
Various Others
The Girl He Used To Know Book Page

My Views

I had mixed emotions as I began this book. It is written slightly like a journal entry switching between the two main characters or rather the main character and her love interest. I didn't have any background knowledge on what the book was about or the formatting when I first opened it and I have to say it took me a few chapters to catch on. It is extremely well written and draws you in, but I found it hard to connect to Annika within the first few chapters. As the book progressed, I found myself more attached to her than I would have thought. The novel seems appropriate 16+ as far as age range goes as it does contain some adult content. While at the surface it appears as a romance novel, the writer goes much further using the romance to explore the difficult world of mental disorders and mental health.

As I mentioned, the novel switches between the viewpoint of Annika and Jonathan as well as between 1991 (college years) and 2001 (present day). The journal entry notation of the chapters made it much easier to follow the story line and while unsure at the start, I grew to greatly enjoy how the story unfolded through present day and flashbacks or college year chapters. Throughout we get to see Annika face adversity and everyday challenges to eventually come to terms with herself and the importance of being comfortable in your own skin. As the story unfolds and we begin noticing Annika;s quirks, like lining up coffee mugs with tea bags for the week, we begin to question her mental state before realizing that each person does things in his/her own way. It is a story of learning to accept ourselves and others as well as becoming more aware of the varying ways of live. It also shows the immense benefits of being will to "peel back the layers" and be patient with others.

Tracey Garvis Graves also uses the story to show how the worst of times are the best times to see someone's true colors.  She does an amazing job of interweaving romance, mental health, personal insecurities, and almost every other "life" issue into one riveting novel. 

Themes and Lessons

A few key lessons I took from this book are as follows:

• Life in not fair. You will never be on equal footing with everyone else and you have to make the best of your situation whatever it may be. 
• Treat everyone with kindness as you may not understand their situation or what they are overcoming on a daily basis. 
• Everyone struggles with confidence and self-doubt. 
• To really live your life, you must get outside of your comfort zone. While you may be happy living in a bubble, you will be missing out on many personal growth, relationship, and happiness opportunities. 
• Everyone needs social connections. Even introverts and those uncomfortable in crowds need to push themselves to find others to connect with whether this is in the form of a chess club or finding a running partner. A lonely life is unhealthy. With this in mind, we should all be more accepting as a new person enters our lives and try to be more inclusive in our social interactions. 
• You don't have to live someone else's definition of success. Jonathan remarks frequently on the jockeying for power, the dog and pony show, and workplace bragging rights. If more people can break away from this cycle, we would all live more enjoyable lives and be able to find our true priorities. These shows often create hostility and force employees to miss out on many important things in life. 

Favorite Quotes

"Do one thing every day that scares you." - Quoting Eleanor Roosevelt within the novel. 

"Don't run, take responsibility, be yourself."

"Children are born without hate, but unfortunately, some of them learn by an early age to wield is like a weapon.'"

 "The dog and pony show we all have starring roles in drives me insane, but choosing not to participate really isn't an option. "

"But then I remembered that no one can make me feel inferior without my consent."  

"A personal connection with someone was what I craved the most."  

" ... I never once said I wanted her to change."

"I just know I couldn't spend my life doing something that doesn't make me happy."  

Final Thoughts

I truly enjoyed this book and would recommend it anyone ages 16+, woman or man for an enlightening and enjoyable read. There are lessons to be learned for all and many feel good parts of the story. It covers deep topics such as mental health, autism, social relationships and even touches on the importance of safe sex. Due to the adult nature of a few of the chapters, I would keep this out of the hands of younger readers unless you are prepared to have a conversation about the topics of the book. This novel would make a great introduction to mental health when it seems like too hard of a topic to discuss on its own. The ending was a bit abrupt for my taste, but did answer any questions one might have. There easily could have been another few chapters that would have created a more natural end. A few points are less believable, like I think Jonathan would have believed Annika immediately when she called, but overall the author does a wonderful job of being true to life.  The book was well laid out and very enlightening. It definitely gave me a new perspective on social interactions and what a good relationship will entail.

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